Biological Unions Trump Marriage Vows

Single parent families are becoming increasingly common in today’s generation, whether the family is one active parent or both parents who aren’t and have never been married. According to the U.S. Census Bureau there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.2 million children. The definition of family is changing in today’s generation. It is much different than it was even when my generation was reaching adulthood. We even have new vocabulary for referring single parent families to today. We hear she’s the ‘baby’s mother’, and he’s the ‘baby’s father’ because they aren’t married to each other.

My brother who is 30 and is a single dad has full legal custody of my 19 month old nephew but my nephew’s mother is still in the picture. They have trouble raising my nephew because they lack communication skills in parenting styles. When I was growing up, my parents were always a united front. With my brother and his baby’s mother they argue over which is the best way to get him to eat or getting him to fall back asleep in the middle of the night. If my nephew does something bad when he is with my brother, he will be told no and put in the corner for a minute. When he does that same thing when he is with his mother she will just ignore it and let him do what he wants. This type of conflict with parenting styles can be confusing on children.

            When I was younger I was used to my parents being in the same house, together and backing each other on rules and disciplining. My nephew is shuffled back and forth between my brother’s house and his mother’s house constantly. You can tell that it affects him because of how he wakes up in the middle night because his mother lets him sleep in the bed with her and his father doesn’t. He doesn’t have shared family activities with both of his parents such as holidays, family trips, or family outings. His family traditions are separated, he will spend the morning with either his dad or his mom, and then the evening vice versa. That technically is forming his traditions because he will have two different holidays with his mom’s family and then with his dad’s family. I think when he gets older he will dread holidays because they are separate and are out of the norm. It will always be going to his mom’s house on certain days, and he will have two separate homes and bedrooms. His definition of family is going to be different than other kids because his parents aren’t together, and it is something he will have to deal with on a daily basis.

            Parents that aren’t married and never had that type of connection as a married couple need to work on communicating better for the child or children. If two people share a child together they have to do what is best for the child, and put their personal differences aside. I don’t think anyone should be together just because they share a child. Though if you have a kid with that person you’re going to be in their life and you should try to blend parenting techniques and communicate with each other for the child.